Q: I have a personal question about developing the ability to let go of things from the past. I can see that my now is colored by all of these things. And it’s difficult for me not to constantly remind myself that I missed out on this or that.
Abe: Well, that is logical, isn’t it? Because that’s where your vibration is, it’s logical that you would be reminded of things like that.
We have a fun way of looking at it: Let’s say you have a piece of very fine sandpaper, and you rub it with your fingers. It is so fine that at first it feels almost like velvet. So you rub it a little more, and a little more, and a little more.
In the beginning, there is no detriment to this experience. But the longer you rub it, the more unpleasant it becomes. Your skin is beginning to feel some sensitivity — and after an hour or two, maybe even some beginnings of blisters. Yet sometimes that sandpaper is really the only thing visible in the room. And even though the experience is not very pleasant, you’ve got this habit going.
Then, all of a sudden, you realize “Hey, I don’t have to do this!” And you simply lift your fingers up off the sandpaper!
This is a deliberate intent to remove yourself from this irritation. The sensation of lifting up is wonderful. As you lift off, it almost feels like spider webs pulling from your fingers. We want you to begin reaching for that ensuing sense of relief.
You’ve had your eye on this sandpaper. It seemed justified, it seemed important. People talked to you about it, there’s evidence of it in your life, and everything seems to be somehow about sandpaper. But in reality, there is it and there is the absence of it, and you do have a choice of whether or not to lift your fingers — your thoughts, that is — off of what is evoking this unpleasant experience.
Begin to take pleasure in feeling relief from it.
Have you ever been in the middle of a negative conversation when someone tried to change the subject to something that felt positive? You didn’t necessarily want them to change the subject — you had some good juices flowing about that topic. But they persevered, because they had decided they were going to lift away from it.
And so you went with them in the different conversation, and stayed there for a moment. Then you, too, began to feel relief. We want you to get hooked on asking, “Which thought feels better?” Let the feeling of relief become what is most important to you.
We want you to say, “I am practicing the art of letting in Well-being. The art of keeping out, or the art of resistance — that may be the art of ‘reality’ that I’ve always practiced. That may be the way my mother does it and my sister does it, and the way that everybody that I know does it. Keeping it out may be the art they’re all practicing — but I’m practicing the art of letting it in. I’m lifting off of my discomfort and, in so doing, letting fresh energy flow into my experience.”
When we talk about Deliberate Creation, we can feel some of you thinking, “I must constantly hold my thoughts rigidly in better places.” And we hear you dictating to one another, chastising one another: “Now, you know that’s not what Abraham teaches.” And we say, “And that’s not what Abraham teaches, either!” (Abraham smiles)
We encourage the art of Allowing — the art of letting it in. The tricky thing is that sometimes, even though this sandpaper is not pleasant and can get really unpleasant, the key is in developing a more sensitive awareness.
We don’t know many of you who would rub your hand until it is bloody. Yet that’s the way you tend to handle some not-good-feeling subjects. You rub yourself all over them until you have so severely disallowed Well-being that negativity begins showing up in your life experience in different ways.
We want to get your attention by saying that no matter how bad that reality was and no matter how justified it may seem to be, none of it needs to have anything to do with your now. The only question we want to ask — and the only question we ever want you to try to answer, ever again — is, “Am I letting in Well-being right now? Does this thought let it in? Does this memory let it in? Does this statement let it in? Does this discussion let it in? Does this fantasy let it in? Am I letting it in?”
When you begin to focus upon this “lifting off,” you discover a whole lot of things you habitually think about, that are not letting it in. And as you start playing with this, you’ll start having fun with it. Perhaps you’ll make a button or a bumper sticker: “Are you letting it in?”
Are you letting what in? Are you letting in the Well-being that would be there if you weren’t letting it in? Are you letting it in? “Well,” you ask, “how do I know if I’m letting Well-being in?” If you are letting it in, then right now you feel great — you feel appreciation or love. If you’re letting it in you will feel good — but if you’re not letting it in, you won’t feel good. Nothing else has any bearing. Well-being has to be important enough that you let it in. So you say, “Abraham, when I reflect back, 99% of my life doesn’t let it in.” Well, we say, then don’t think about that. How can you not think about 99% of your life? Selectively sift your way through it. If you look back with enough intent, you can find something — within every aspect of every part of it — that would let it in.
- Abe from the April-June 2001 Abe-Hicks newsletter